Completing our Move
- Dec 9, 2008
Tomorrow we take an early ferry to Swarz Bay on Vancouver Island's southeast coast, and rent a 14' U-Haul truck in Sydney that should be adequate to the task. We have to move the remainder of our possessions out of a $200/month storage room and over to South Pender. A few more things from the condo, and we will have made our break from Vancouver Island and our 7 month search for a new home will be complete.
The new house, and it is new, because the builder only camped there while completing it, is tight, bright, cozy - a delight. Days are cool and fresh, some light rain, some sunshine, and for the first time in decades I'm not dreading the coming of summer. Soon I'll put together some photos from the island and post the SmugMug url here.
I'm gradually uploading photos from our recent journey, starting with Thanksgiving with d'Arcy, Joel, his parents, and some friends. Those photos are here:
http://leathersmithe.smugmug.com/gallery/6787184_EXodr
My SmugMug site, for you adventurous/bored/interested types, is:
http://leathersmithe.smugmug.com/
More photos soon to follow, including our visit to Deena's, Jen & Paul's and the tank erection, & to Humboldt Bay/Eureka/AEE/Los Angeles/Chico. Stay tuned for more of our adventures in the Great White North!
Back from the Foreign Wars
- Nov 30, 2008
We returned Friday November 28 from a 15 day odyssey to Los Angeles to see my ailing father who is recuperating from a long fall down the stairs in his condominium near Century City. We took our time, visiting old friends in Portland, Arcata, Eureka, Garberville, Redway and Ukiah on the way down, and in Chico and Seattle on our return trip. Daughter d'Arcy turned 24 November 14 and we saw her in Seattle that day & spent a couple nights there for the Thanksgiving celebration at her house on the way home.
This week we move into the Castle Road house on South Pender Island.
Our new address is:
David Rippner & Elizabeth Montague
9886 Castle Road RR3
V0N 2M3 South Pender Island British Columbia Canada
Our e-mail addresses are leathersmithe@gmail.com and lizmontague@gmail.com and we are in the process of acquiring a high speed Internet connection. It may have to be a satellite feed, but we're negotiating for long distance wi-fi from Orcas Island in the San Juan Islands south of the border. We may be hard to reach for a few weeks; try our cell numbers (which don't work on our land!): me, 250 508 4410 & Elizabeth, 250 508 4409. We have a land-line telephone going in to the new house today. If you want to talk, call me and I'll call you back. I'm spending big bucks for US/Canada unlimited, so take advantage of it by asking me to call you back.
Our new Canadian telephone number: 250 629 6636
If you haven't yet seen them, here are some photos of the place:
http://leathersmithe.smugmug.com/gallery/6335714_ANbGL
I'm still editing photos from our recent trip, and I'll list them as I complete the uploads to SmugMug here:
http://leathersmithe.smugmug.com/gallery/5955516_qRzZH
Zeitgeist, the Movie
- Sep 22, 2008
Problems with your Modem? Call our Help Desk:
- Sep 20, 2008
Thank you for calling. To continue in jargon, press 1. Jos haluat jatkaa suomeksi, ole hyva ja paina 2.
Please listen closely to the following menus, as our options have changed. For technical support, press 1. For financial support, press 2. For support of the fleshy parts that jiggle during exercise, press 3. For emotional support, please hang up and call 888 HOT-LIVE.
Please note that we are currently experiencing temporary, localized service interruptions in Nome, Alaska; Redway, CA; Phoenix, AZ; Tijuana, Mexico; and all of North America east of the Rocky Mountains. If you live in one of these regions, please hang up and do not call back until we tell you. We appreciate your patience while our technicians ignore the problem.
If your appliance is less than 1 year old, press 1. If you are unmarried or are not sure, press 2.
In order to serve you better, it will be helpful for us to know which order you belong to. For Primates, press 1. For Cetacea and Proboscidea, press 2. For Jesuit or Dominican, press 3. For Knights Templar or Hospitaler, Knights of Pythias or Columbus, as well as Masons, Elks, and Kiwanis, or if you are unsure, press 4. If you are a Franciscan and have a rotary phone, please stay on the line.
Please key in the model and serial number of the product you are calling about. The model number is the series of 12 letters and digits that is visible when you push the unit away from the wall, work your head into the gap using a crowbar and No. 10 machine oil, and train a beam of ultraviolet light on the lower three centimeters of the right-hand rear surface of the appliance. If the model number is obscured by dust or cockroach detritus, wipe it with a soft, lint-free cloth soaked in a solution of ordinary rubbing alcohol, Kirschwasser, and formaldehyde. The serial number is the 37-digit number inscribed by means of laser nanotechnology on the underside of the unit and is not visible to the naked eye. When you have entered both numbers, press the pound key.
Note that at any point you may return to the previous menu by hanging up, calling again, and repeating the process until you reach the point just before the point you are at right now.
Please listen carefully to the following choices and select the one that best describes the problem you are calling about: If water is condensing on inner surfaces or leaking from under the door, press 1. If you are having trouble sending or receiving e-mail, press 2. If you are experiencing sharp, shooting pains in the left shoulder or a feeling of constriction in the chest, press 3. If you have lost your faith in a Supreme Being or any intelligible order in the universe and feel a desperate need for human contact, press 4. If you smell gas, press 5. To repeat this menu, press 6. To return to the previous menu or to a state of infantile bliss, press 7.
Please note that while you were listening to the previous menu, our options changed yet again. For Option 1, press 4. For Option 7, press 3. For Option 6, press 7. For Options 2 through 4, press 0 or hang up and call our Consumer Relations Department at (427) 555-9221. Long-distance charges may apply.
Most common problems can be resolved at home by following a simple sequence of diagnostic tests and procedures. We will now guide you through such a sequence. If you wish to skip this section, press 1, 3, and 9 simultaneously while restarting your telephone. Please note: If, while answering these questions, you see smoke or flames or if your chest is warm to the touch, hang up and call 911.
OK, let's get started.
Is the unit plugged in? If yes, press 1. If no, press 2.
Is the power switch set to "on"? If yes, press 1. If no, press 2.
Touch the condensation on the interior of the unit with your finger, then smell it. Does it smell like a dog that has been left out in the rain? If yes, press 1. If no, press 2.
Unplug your modem, power down your computer, and mix yourself a stiff drink. Drink it. Now restart your computer and plug the modem back in. Did this resolve the problem? If yes, press 1. If no, press 2.
While holding down the control and option keys, crouch on the floor, making chugging and whistling sounds. Say, "I think I can, I think I can." Continue in this manner for five minutes. Did this resolve the problem? If yes, press 1. If no, press 2.
Do you attend a church, synagogue, mosque, tabernacle, or other house of worship regularly (that is, three times a month or more)? If yes, press 1. If no, better press 1 anyway.
While remaining on this phone, use your cellular phone to call an old friend whom you haven't seen in years. Tell him or her that you've really missed him or her, and that if he or she has a problem he or she needs to talk about, you will be happy to lend a sympathetic ear. Did this resolve the problem? If yes, press 1. If no, press 2.
The diagnostic and self-help procedure is now complete. If the problem has been resolved, press 1. If the problem has been cleared up, press 2. If the problem no longer seems worth bothering with, press 3.
Thank you for calling. Goodbye.
I'm a little confused...
- Sep 20, 2008
I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....
* If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."
* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American story.
* If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
* Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.
* Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.
* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.
* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.
* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.
* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.
* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.
* If you teach teach children about sexual predators, you are irresponsible and eroding the fiber of society.
* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.
* If your wife is a Harvard graduate laywer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America 's.
* If you're husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that hates America and advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.
OK, much clearer now.
Remembering Art Hoppe
- Sep 20, 2008
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2000/02/03/MN98987.DTL
We lost Art Hoppe ("3 dot journalism"), SF Chronicle Columnist, February, 2003. His "eloquent satire skewered the pompous and powerful for over 40 years". This editorial, yellowed and pre-Internet, survived for me to transcribe:
‘Most Unique’
The cant phrase* of this year is apparently “most unique.” The words answer some obscure plea in the advertising man’s heart. I hear it on the tube to describe vaguely Oriental carpets, Japanese automobiles, and even various brands of cheese. It is also used to describe events, like jazz festivals and football games. I’m certain somebody has spoken of a “most unique” Mass, but I haven’t heard of it.
The phrase is purest babble, of course. I was taught in high school that its use was the ultimate in solecisms, and the user a yahoo of purest stripe. Yet now it is an accepted part of the language, like the strange usage of the word “hopefully.”
My dictionary says unique means “One and only, sole ... different from all others: having no like or equal.” Thus to say that something is “most unique”, or even “more unique” is more or less like talking about someone being slightly pregnant.
Here is the invaluable H.W. Fowler on the matter: “... uniqueness is a matter of yes or no only; no unique thing is more or less unique than another unique thing ... the adverbs that u. can tolerate are e.g. quite, almost, nearly, really, surely, perhaps, absolutely or in some respects; and it is nonsense to call anything more, very, somewhat, rather, or comparatively u. Such nonsense, however, is often written.”
* * *
Why bother? you ask. You can’t possibly beat a couple of thousand illiterate telly and radio announcers who are guaranteeing that this particular illiteracy will enter the language and will be dignified in future dictionaries with the qualification “colloquial.”
I guess it’s just a case of being hipped on the English language, and being grateful for all it can do when it is properly employed. I make my solecisms, and by the score, and they are pointed out to me in often harsh terms.
These fluffs are usually the result of laziness and it makes me furious to be guilty of them. Laziness ca be contagious, though that is no excuse for it.
For instance, like hundreds of other writers I constantly use he word “media” when I am only speaking of newspapers and television, despite the fact that the word medium and its plural have many other useful meanings. I do this out of laziness, just because it s easier to say media than newspapers and television outlets. Or print and tube.
But I do not intend to get caught in flagrante using “most unique.” Only yesterday I saw in Harper’s an ad for the autobiography of Rhodesian Bishop Abel Muzorewa. The headline said “One of the world’s most unique combinations of politics and religion ...”
While we are on the subject I would like call your attention to an outfit called Unicorn Ltd., Conglomerate. This is headed by Bill Rabe from his college relations office at Lake Superior State College in Sault St. Marie, Mich. Rabe and his cohorts from time to time “banish” words from the language.
* * *
Among the words the Unicorners have put their anathema upon are: charisma, viable, relevant (“That means I’m going to tell you something totally divorced from reality”), modalities, conceptual, various publics, new dimensions, perfectly candid, plain fact, utilize, quality of life, mutually exclusive, circularize, personally (as in “I, personally –“, evidenced, the human condition, feedback, creative arts and personhood.
All dandy selections, and all have my delighted approval with the possible exception of “the human condition,” which does have a useful meaning if carefully used. I would add to Rabe’s collection the word “basically.” This nearly always means absolutely nothing and is merely added to a sentence to make a speaker impressive or give him time to catch his breath, or both.
We’ve banished hopefully,” Rabe insists. “But I think I’ve given up on that. Can’t seem to get rid of it.” That one is, in truth, one of the most unique howlers in the language.
* "A word or phrase which has been newly coined, has invaded the language, and serves to elicit the contempt it deserves; for it functions to degrade humane values by de-humanizing speech and prose."
Melvin Lasky - The Language of Journalism
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